Cooking

You come home after work, a throughly exhausting day of dodging meetings, avoiding silly users questions, ducking past that girl who has been stalking you (and who has a far more impressive beard than you ever will) and skipped lunches, all so you can put in the half an hour longer into perfecting your code, which in the end throws a segfault because you overlooked the endieness some obscure library that you use a single function from, in an effort to satisfy a deep and inexplicable urge to reuse code, to face the daunting task of making dinner.

The thing is, I enjoy cooking, and do so recklessly and with childish abandon. But as with anything else, it is only fun for as long as it is unnecessary. The instant it becomes essential to ones continued survival, it loses all appeal. Breathing itself, I figure would hold for me infinite charm were it not the case, that without it, I would turn a fashionable but deadly pale blue.

So off course I hope for a wonderpill - all vitamins, minerals, fibre and anything else that modern day marketers (um sure Sonal, doctors too) would have us believe we cannot do without - concentrated into a pill. As for taste - well to be honest, who really gives a shit right. After all, we aren't developing it to be served at beach side resorts or for first dates. No, this is working peoples elixir for people on the go - in fact, it should taste like you're licking the floor a K'Rd urinal after a drunken pissup on a Friday night. Worse. The WonderPill is not for pansies who can't hack a little bitterness in the mouth. The Pill will be designed to equal the bitterness of vinegar, Guiness and the old bachelor that once dated Mrs Gates. In fact, that's not enough. It'll be genetically engineered so that it can only be taken by people who haven't had a good night's rest in a week, who have been awake for at least three consecutive days and have acquired all their nutrition by chewing on pieces of aluminium broken off their chairs. Not tough enough. The pill will be huge, and one has to force it in with a plunger and anyone who flinches when eating it will be taken out and shot. In fact, before you are even entitled to eat it, you'll be forced to perform the most laborious of tasks. As a prerequisite to the Pill, you must dig a swimming pool two meters deep and fill it with your own sweat, listen to twelve continuous hours of Aqua and shower in liquid nitrogen. No, to ultimately qualify to have the Pill, you have to prepare for yourself a full banquet of the most delectable, aromatic, nutrious meal and eat every last morsel of it.

So neewayz, I'd better start cooking. A banquet takes time - and I am already craving that Pill.